Totem Page 2

  I smile at the thought. Warmth inside builds up as the hopes and dreams I held onto are coming true. Sure I have doubts. I know that the road will be hard, but that’s ok. Right now, right here, everything is perfect and just how it should be. What my future holds is excitement and new experiences that I no longer have to dream about, but can actually live. I look at the paper which is now a permanent fixture on my wardrobe one last time before making my way to my new bed. As I walk to the bed, I cannot help but say the words out loud hoping once again they will sink in.

  “I am a college student.”

  I take a long drink of water. The liquid feels incredible as it cools my throat on the way down. Slowly, I pull the fly away hair from my face. Some of the strands that could not fit into my ponytail stick to the sweat that incases my body. I take a deep breath. That was my first attempt at jogging in the New Orleans heat and I failed miserably. Two torturous miles of sweating and hard breathing is enough for one day. I sit reminiscing about how easy it was running in the cooler, humidity free landscape of Pennsylvania. Even the Alabama heat was easier at 8:00 am in the morning. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to pry myself out of bed early enough before my classes. So here I sit mid-afternoon seeking solace from the shade of the palm trees in our university cove half regretting my meager attempt at jogging. I take another sip of water as I admire the sheath of sweat that has formed over my legs in only twenty minutes of physical activity.

  I take a seat at a newly vacated table in the cove. Days earlier, I surmised that the light breeze flowing off of Lake Pontchartrain would make running on the levees the coolest spot. It may be the coolest place in New Orleans, but it felt like one of the hottest places in the world. The thick humidity clogs your lungs as the sun penetrates you like you are the only object outside. The only cool place down here in the middle of August is an air-conditioned building. Even sitting here in the shade, the heat is so palpable and the air so moist that you can taste it. Just stepping outside causes one to sweat. I sit still in my chair for fear that any movement will cause perspiration.

  Despite the heat, I am glad to be in New Orleans. My mind runs over this past week. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. The excitement and fear of the new school faded away as the week progressed. Campus life quickly began to suit me as I grew familiar with classes and made new friends. I felt fully into the swing of my freshmen year. Everything was in line except for one thing. In high school, I was used to going to practices and training for sports. There was soccer practice and track practice. Even club soccer had practices.

  Here, I am left to my own devices when it comes to working out and physical activity. I feel knowledgeable enough to plan a workout schedule, but it is finding the time to fall into a routine that is lacking. I sigh as the sweat begins to evaporate from my skin. I make a mental note that Friday at 2:30 in the afternoon is not a good time for a run. Maybe next week, I will replace it with the gym. Maybe I can run outside in the morning. That’s if I can wake up in time.

  “Hey Kimber!”

  I turn my head around to the sound of my name and see my roommate Michelle walking up to me with some guy. It is a sight that has become norm with Michelle. I look back at the table. As if divine fate intervened, there are two extra chairs around it which made it perfect for Michelle and random guy to join me.

  “Are you done your classes for the day?” Asks Michelle

  Thoughts about making a smart comment pertaining to the piece of paper listing my class schedule taped to my wardrobe pops into my head, but I quickly decide that would sound mean. I settle on a polite answer. One thing I am trying to work on this year is to think before I speak.

  “Yeah,” I reply taking another sip of water. “So I attempted to get a run in, but I am definitely not used to this Louisiana heat.”

  “Where ya from?” Asks the new guy

  “Pennsylvania,” I reply.

  I also decided earlier this week it would be easier just to tell people where I grew up and not where my parents currently reside. He nods in acknowledgement. As far as new guys go, he is kind of cute. His hair is brown and spiky. I couldn’t tell if he was attempting this look or if he just needs a haircut. Either way, it works for him. I do a head to toe once over look at his attire. He is wearing a pink polo shirt with a popped collar over a pair of khaki shorts that seem almost too short for a guy. On his feet is a pair of leather sandals. He must be a frat guy.

  “I’m sorry,” Michelle begins looking flushed. “I need to introduce you two. This is Daniel. Daniel, this is Kimber.”

  I nod my head in acknowledgement.

  “Nice to meet you,” replies Daniel.

  “Excuse the sweat,” I apologize with a small smile as I gesture at my rough appearance.

  “Daniel lives in the dorms on the floor above us,” begins Michelle making small conversation.

  “And we haven’t met you yet?” I ask jokingly.

  I smile. I thought Michelle had already found all the potential cute guys in the dorms the first three days we were there. Daniel must have slipped through the cracks. Silently I give him props for his ninja-like skill at avoiding Michelle’s radar.

  “Yeah, I haven’t really moved in yet. My family lives in Metairie. I’ve just been commuting this week.”

  “But you have a dorm room?” I ask puzzled.

  “It’s free with my scholarship,” he replies.

  “That’s cool,” chimes Michelle.

  She throws her most award-winning smile at the guy. I smirk. Silently I laugh. One thing that I have learned about Michelle this past week is that she is very flirtatious especially with new guys.

  “So how has it come to be that two cute blondes get to room together?” Daniel winks at us.

  “Luck,” I reply coolly, “maybe a roommate survey.”

  “So you didn’t know each other before?”

  Michelle and I look at each other. We smile and then shake our heads no simultaneously.

  “It was just a really good match,” replies Michelle.

  I smile back. Truthfully, it’s a great match. I remember being so worried right before I met her. After we met, it was like we were destined to be good friends. We bonded over dinner this past Saturday night and since then, we have been inseparable. We spent the rest of the weekend and most weeknights together. The time predominantly filled with us cruising the floors meeting people especially guys on Michelle’s part but, regardless of intent, it was a bonding experience nonetheless. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop with Michelle. Not that I think the worst, it’s just everyone has their own quirks and things that could set them off. Michelle seems immune to this. She probably thinks the same about me, I hope. I know that I probably have quirks that will shine through eventually.

  “So what do you have planned for the rest of the day?” Asks Michelle

  “Well, first I am going to take a shower,” I say as I point to my wet t-shirt. “Then, I’m free! What are you going to do?”

  “I’m not sure yet,” replies Michelle as she glances at Daniel.

  I could tell she was waiting for Daniel to offer suggestions. When he didn’t, she continued talking with only slight dismay dropping more subtle hints.

  “I really have nothing to do. I guess it’s one of the downfalls of being new. I do want to go out somewhere tonight. I heard of a few bars that are having drink specials.”

  “If you two are looking for a party,” chimes Daniel finally as he leans forward pulling out a piece of paper from his back pocket. “My fraternity, the Theta’s, are having a back to school bash at The Dock.”

  My thoughts immediately go back to my initial analysis of Daniel. Nailed it! I give myself an invisible pat on the back as I suppress the urge to giggle. Blocking out my thoughts, I focus more intently on Daniel. He pulls out a three by five paper flyer. I lean forward to read over all the details. The headline read “Theta’s back to school bash”. The most prominent thing on the flyer, however, was not
the writing, but the woman scantily clad in a schoolgirl uniform. It is what I consider to be a typical fraternity flyer for a typical fraternity party.

  “The flyer says 10:00 pm, but nobody really shows up until eleven,” states Daniel.

  “Where is the Dock?” I ask

  “It’s in the Marina,” he replies. “You know where all the boats are parked? Well, you turn there. The Dock bar will be on the left past Coconut beach volleyball courts. You can’t miss the courts. The lights can probably be seen from space.”

  I nod my head. I have no idea where that is. Michelle looks at me gauging my reaction. I shoot her a look silently assuring her that I was just as lost with directions as she was.

  “Yea, we might stop by,” states Michelle nonchalantly. I can tell that she is using every restraint she had to just act cool and not bounce up and down in her seat.

  Daniel shoots her a look. I smile. It is like the two of them are playing their own little game of cat and mouse. The only problem is they both are attempting to be the cat. They wanted to chase but not be chased. My mind pictures them as cats. The idea makes me quietly laugh once again at the two of them flirting in front of me.

  “Well, I have to go to work,” states Daniel as he stands up. “It was nice meeting y’all and I hope to see both of you tonight.”

  He smiles and winks at Michelle. Definitely a game of cat and mouse I decide. Michelle watches as he walks out of the Cove. When he is out of hearing range, she jerks her head back around and looks at me.

  “Can we go?” Asks Michelle as she bounces in her seat.

  I look at Michelle. Her brown eyes stare at me, pleading. One thing I have learned this past week is that Michelle usually gets her way. I am no exception to the Michelle charm. I cannot say no, especially when I am just as excited to go to a college party as she was. At least this way, we can go together and keep an eye on each other.

  “Ok,” I sigh as I get up from my seat. The metal has pressed into the back of my thighs leaving red marks that mimic the design on the chair. “I’m heading back to the dorm to shower. Are you going back, too?”

  “Sure,” chimes Michelle with excitement edges out of her from every angle. “You know what this means though?” She doesn’t wait for my answer. “We have to go shopping for new outfits!”

  A short walk and we are back at our dorm room. I place my iPod on my desk on my way to the bathroom. I am averaging two showers a day thanks to this sticky heat. I turn on the shower letting the water temperature adjust. I begin peeling off my sweaty clothes leaving them precariously on the floor where they fall as I walk around getting things together. I drape my towel over the sink for when I hop out of the shower. With shower caddy in hand, I step in. The water washes over me and my body relaxes instantaneously. I raise my head up to greet the warm liquid as it hits me. It washes off the salt and dirt from my skin.

  The shower is quickly becoming my new place of solitude. Michelle is the first roommate I have ever had, minus at summer camp. She is a great roommate, but I miss the alone time I had in my own room at my parents’ house. The three tiled walls and one plastic shower curtain briefly become my own private place of solitude where I can get lost in my thoughts. The rushing water muffles out the exterior noises as the liquid envelopes my body in an ever fluid blanket. Here, for a few brief minutes a day, I am left alone to think.

  “Yo, ho!” I hear the distinct voice of our neighbor Andrew as it rings out in the small bathroom.

  My fortress of solitude has an intruder. I pop my head out of the shower not at all worried about covering anything up. After all, I am not Andrew’s type. Neither is Michelle.

  “Hey,” I respond with a smile.

  He smiles back.

  “Michelle told me y’all are going shopping.”

  “Yea, wanna come?” I ask knowing Michelle probably already invited him.

  “Heck, yea!” he exclaims.

  Andrew always makes me smile. Hailing from Lafayette, he has a Cajun accent. He speaks with a slight twang which would probably go unnoticed by people in his hometown, but I hear it as clear as a bell.

  “I will be right out of the shower,” I state. “Wanna join and wash my back?”

  “Pfft,” replies Andrew. “Maybe next time, honey.”

  Andrew emphasizes the word ‘honey’ as he quickly closes the door. I knew the answer would be no before I asked him. Any straight guy would probably jump at the chance to hop in the shower with a coed but Andrew is different. To put it frankly, I am the wrong gender to float Andrew’s boat. Which is a huge let down for Michelle. Andrew is handsome and takes great care to work out and dress nicely. His efforts are not for the ladies though which makes me feel comfortable around him. He is genuinely into being our friend with no ulterior motives. With him, we don’t have to contemplate what he is thinking. It did not matter because, most likely, his indecent thoughts are not about me or Michelle.

  Quickly, I lather up and rinse off. I step out of the shower stopping to look at myself in the mirror. I scrutinize my body. Focusing on my best features first, I stare at my face. I love my long, blond hair and blue eyes. My eyes slip down to my belly and hips. Those always seem to be my trouble areas. I could see the definition on the outer parts of my abs. The center however is covered by a thin pudgy layer that betrays the beautiful abs I believe to be hiding underneath. I sigh as I avert my eyes and get back to the matter of drying off. I begin with my body working my way up to my hair. When I am satisfied, I wrap the towel around my body and walk into my dorm room.

  Michelle and Andrew are sitting together on her bed talking. I smile. Andrew has become one of our dorm buddies. He lives right across the hall from us. Although he may technically live there, he spends a lot of time hanging out with us in our room. In any other situation, he would be overstepping boundaries diving way too far and too deeply into our personal lives but not in college.

  You meet new friends quickly. College creates a situation where you are out of your element. The comforting surroundings of home and high school quickly dissolve and you are left to adapt to a new world with new faces. You are forced to make friends and make them fast. Michelle greets new people with open arms. Her warm friendly smile reaches out and no one is a stranger. I, on the other hand, smile warmly at them while I analyze them quietly deciding when to completely trust them. It takes me a little while to warm up to new people.

  Of course, Michelle is so amiable that it forces me to want to be the same way. We mostly meet boys, but that seems to be what happens when two blondes walk around the dorms together. It’s as if we have bull’s eyes on our backs. Being recognizable allows us to meet new people like Andrew.

  He calls us his ‘little boo’s’. It is a word I have only heard on movies and shows that portray the South. It makes me feel warm and welcome to know that he likes us enough to give us a nickname. I shoot one more glance over at him before I go to rummage through the drawers for jean shorts and a t-shirt. I get dressed in record time and am ready to go shopping.

  “Let’s go!” I shout at the two lumps on Michelle’s bed all too excited for our shopping trip.

  Like Michelle, I am in dire need of a new outfit for tonight.

  Michelle and I walk up to The Dock bar and grill. The building itself perches on stilts. Underneath, it’s exposed to all the elements of Lake Pontchartrain. It is just past 10:30 pm. Michelle and I have been ready since 9:30. The excitement of our first official college party mixed with our inexperience of party life has landed us outside of the bar thirty minutes prior to Daniel’s recommended time. We would have been here earlier if it wasn’t for Andrew who we feebly attempted to convince to come with us. We wanted him to come and act like a potential new pledge. Andrew just shook his head no as he shot us bemused looks. Not even the promise of a bunch of good-looking frat guys would sway him.

  “It would be like a diabetic in a candy shop,” replied Andrew. “I can look and drool but can’t touch; completely useless.”


  The thought of Andrew’s words made me smile as we drew closer to the steps and front door of the bar. I stare past the door at a room filled with unified Greek jerseys worn by college men. Nervous excitement begins building up and I remind myself to act cool.

  I hold the wooden handrail steadying my steps my six-inch stilettos. I don’t get to wear heels much, so when I do, I go all out. I like my heels like I like my men, the taller the better. To compliment my heels, I wore a pair of dress shorts exposing my long, muscular legs. My legs are one of my favorite features on my body. For a top, I settled on a cute, sheer navy blue dress top that exposed just the right amount of cleavage and bare shoulders. The whole look made me feel sexy and cool. I take a deep breath as we open the door and walk into the bar. Immediately, we are greeted by a guy in a Theta shirt. He is thin with lightly curled brown hair that pops out from under his baseball cap. He smiles endearingly revealing a beautiful white set of teeth. Childlike dimples punctuate his cheeks.

  “Hi, I’m Jake,” he introduces himself holding out a hand for Michelle and me to shake.

  “I’m Michelle, and this is Kimber.”

  Michelle quickly introduces herself turning on the charm for the new guy. Her smile grows from ear to ear as she flirtatiously tilts her head to one side. She is in a mood and any guy in a ten foot radius should be prepared. I smile inwardly laughing at the external scene around me.

  “So you ladies go to the university?”